Vitriol Espresso "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all." General James Mattis

A question posed to me by a couple of sources, what is my vision of the End of Days. It's not a complicated question, but it is sort of loaded in it's suggestion. For one it suggests that I actually believe in some sort of apocryphal 'end time' to come. Perhaps in my own lifetime. Secondly, it was implied in a Biblical fashion. As if only the Biblical perspective is the valid one. Poppycock.

Truth is, the world is going to end someday. Not for a billion years or so, but it will end. Everything in the universe has a starting point and an ending point. So maybe I should start there and outline things as I go. Because you really can't have an ending if you have no concept of how things began. Something that has had philosophers, theologists, and astrophysicists turning to alcohol for hundreds of years (I am no exception).

"In the beginning there was Eggplant. The Eggplant slowly evolved into the Wooly Mammoth. The Mammoth then evolved into the common Frog. The Frog then turned into the Penguin. Then after some time, millions of years, the Penguin changed. It grew stupid. It forgot to fly. Forgot to be a bird. And over time it became what is now known as the Modern Polack."

Okay, okay. That's not actually how I feel about it, but it is pretty funny. The above is what my Father told me after I asked him how humans were created. Dad's not much of a theologist, apparently.

It's arguable in almost every perspective how the universe began. For the most part the accepted theory is the Big Bang theory, but even then there's arguments on how the Big Bang itself came about. If God created the Universe, why would he create Time? Why would he have everything expand from a single point and not create the elements as we know them now from the very beginning? He wouldn't. Come on, nobody is so thorough with their plans as to predict the creation of physical forces and unknown elements. Maybe Stephen Hawking, but he doesn't count since he's not God. Nowadays the physicists speak of String Theory and Brane Theory. And I see a grain of truth in those. In order for the Universe to have been created there had to have been a creation point. The beginning of Time as we know it. We also know that Gravity came into play from the first second. However, Gravity is pretty freaking weak so everything flew off in every direction to make everything in the Universe. Why is Gravity so weak when everything else is so strong?

Well, let's put it together. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that there is something extra-universal out there. And it's pretty huge. Let's also take into account the Brane Theory/String Theory that there could be 11 or more dimensions associated with our Universe. Have you ever met someone who wore clothing that was completely straight with no wrinkles or motion whatsoever? No, of course not. I liken this Membrane (Brane Theory) to clothing worn by a God. A dancing God! Thus the Church of Cow was born. With admittedly flawed theology, the idea is the same. Something outside our Universe bumped into something else outside our Universe. The bumping of these Membranes/Strings caused a flash of dimension that grew into the Universe that we know today. Which, ironically enough, is the universe that was yesterday the further away we look. Time is already pretty unreliable when associated with Mass and Gravity. So why wouldn't it be possible for Gravity to be weak here and strong in another dimension? Why couldn't Gravity be the influence on ALL the dimensions and thusly be weak in each one since it is so split into parts? I certainly hope I am not the only one asking these questions.

So there's a start. Now, it seems to me that everything we know has some kind of limit. If there's a start, there's an end. That is literally Universal. Even if all the Universe does is expand to infinity that would still effectively cause the end by placing so much empty nothing between somethings that everything isolates and eventually dies. Because that is the nature of the Universe. Even Time would end with the absence of Mass, Gravity, and Light. But that's not how I think that everything will end (although it seems the most applicable result). Other hypotheses include Black Holes hoovering everything into giant lumps of 'really heavy shit' and everything coming back together to the Big Bang singularity to start all over again.

No, things will end when sentience ends. Why? Because nobody will give a rat's ass about the Universe after sentience is gone and it will cease to be a problem. Viola. And that is how the Universe will end. What, you thought I was gonna quote scripture? Hahahahahaha....OH, you wanted something POLITICAL and THEOLOGICAL. Well, too bad. Next time, perhaps. ;)