Insomnia...

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 1:47 AM

After reading over these stories: Michelle Malkin Clown Alert: Janet Napolitano says the "system worked."

What I'd like to know is when Napolitano said that the system worked, was she being facetious or truthful? Because if she was being truthful and the system was working as intended that means, by extrapolation, that the Department of Homeland Security is a superfluous organization. Completely meaningless except that it pays paychecks out to people who do nothing. The people on the plane, and also by extrapolation, the people everywhere in the United States are on their own.

So I ask again, was she joking around or did she really mean that the system worked accordingly?

On an offhand? Yeah, I think she's a stupid twat. How's that for not sleeping? Hahahaha...I scare myself sometimes.

Meh...

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 10:44 PM

Feeling the melancholy thing, but on the whole much better than the last week. Got punched in the head by a double dose of depression, added in a shot of anxiety and a splash of mania. Not a very nice cocktail. So I indulged in the legal medicinal services available to one my age and just about choked on my own tongue. Which was fun, let me tell you. No...really. I was laughing too hard and bit down on my tongue. Didn't change the funny, just added a little pain.

Then it sort of hit me that I could laugh through it. So I did. Kinda neat those mini epiphanies that come out of nowhere.

Sent another email to the local college. Apparently they have a transit system between my shitty town and their campus now. Although I have no clue when it runs, I've not seen it here. If it exists that'd rock. I could take a couple of classes and not have to worry about the car breaking down on the way. Or the fact that it gets 5mpg.

Told my brother I'm a bit of a transgender. That was hard. Not that I don't enjoy being female, I'm just too dominant to be happy with anyone NORMAL. God, that feels so good to say. Sorry, but I can't see myself living with anyone who isn't afraid to be stronger than me. Everyone I think I might be capable of loving in that way turns out to be so damn weak where I need them to be strong. All I ever asked for was a backbone, a huge fucking heart, and a complete understanding of the fact that...I honestly hate myself. I do. Always have. Still do. Not gonna change. If I could not be me for a million bucks? I'd sell a kidney.

So there you have it. My need for someone to understand that I'm not male or female, I'm both. And I'm neither. Sex is more a play on dominance and submission to me and anyone strong enough to dominate my huge fucked up personality usually goes to find someone a bit more stable in the emotional facilities. I'm nothing anyone has ever dealt with before, apparently. Not even my shrink wants to discuss it. Hell, in another era I'd be a nun..I have no doubt...Mother Superior. Hahahahahahaha. *walks like a penguin*

Ah hell, I'm over 40 and I have no dreams. How pitiful is that? I need to find a few somewhere.

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 12:15 PM

Invictus

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 7:54 PM

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~~~ William E. Henley

Blah...

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 9:39 AM

Christmas sucks. Haven't had a good one for a while now so I think next year I'm just gonna let it slide. Hurts too much. Being forgotten every year is shitty. Next year I will find someone else to celebrate with. I'm sick of hoping and praying for someone to look in my direction during a time made for families and togetherness. Fuck 'em.

Anybody wanna get drunk next Christmas? I'm taking reservations. And I'm opening a Christmas Club account so I can get my shit out of here when the time comes. That's right, I'm spending it all on ME. Maybe in Vegas or somewhere with a beach. So blah.

And because this is a shitty message, I'll add something nominally funny. Ray Stevens is great. If you ever get a chance to catch his show in Branson, do so.

Merry Christmas...

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 7:43 AM

Beautifully describes my angst (and sense of humor). Happy Ho-Ho. :)

How I feel...

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 9:06 AM



Aside from mourning Alex, things are plodding along okay. Another Christmas with sadness along for the ride. Watching more Carlin to perk myself up and found this gem. The holidays need to come with a disclaimer....

Safe Schools Czar my ASS...

Posted by Kogai | Posted in | Posted on 9:01 AM

Breaking: Obama’s “Safe Schools Czar” Is Promoting Child Porn in the Classroom– Kevin Jennings and the GLSEN Reading List

You have GOT to read this (via Gateway Pundit). I've just gone to check out the books that were cited in this report and what he's got as examples is only the tip of the iceberg. These people actually want to indoctrinate YOUR children into thinking of deviant sex as normal. Keep in mind I don't include homosexuality in that description, oh no. The deviant material includes sexual encounters with adults, public masturbation, glorified prostitution, etc. Homosexuals would even find this stuff completely disgusting.

Scott Baker from Breitbart-TV.com and Co-Host of ‘The B-Cast‘ submitted this shocking report today on Obama’s deviant Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings.

—-Warning on Content—–

I was recently approached by a team of independent researchers that I have known for some time and have come to trust. They prepared this report involving ‘Safe Schools Czar’ Kevin Jennings and the organization he founded, GLSEN, and asked that I find a way to help draw attention to what they uncovered. Knowing that Gateway Pundit has followed Kevin Jennings since his appointment, as we have on The B-Cast (here, here, and here), and on Breitbart.tv (here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here), I felt this would be an appropriate place for this report.

Warning: The following material is very explicit.

Scott Baker

Co-Founder, Breitbart.tv

Co-Host, The B-Cast


Go read it. But don't forget to take your barf bag with you. Good Lord...