Vitriol Espresso "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all." General James Mattis

The semester is almost over. And I didn't do too bad on my classes. Certainly better than I thought I'd do. I still have all three finals coming up, so my brain is kind of like a nice swiss cheese.

I've been playing a lot of Warcraft lately, more than I probably should. The drama is giving me headaches and my glasses are giving me optical migranes. Ugh. It's only because I tip my head back to use the bifocals more often when I play games. The chat log is so tiny in comparison to other games. Even when you amp up the font size to 18. Farming my ass off for God only knows what. As soon as I cap out Leatherworking I'm going to take a farming break and read up on my new books.

Yeah. Warcraft books. I'm hooked. Go figure.

It's spring break time again! Time for midterms and other fanciful issues. Like how popular I am in a video game. It feels good to actually be a student.

Those sentences only look good together because they're said in the same breath. I am both panicked and relaxed. I've got a couple of big tests coming up this week and next. I feel as if I've hardly made a dent in anything so far. So I may start now. Yes...now.

So after a hospital stay for a few hours I discovered that I cannot stomach Seroquel. Now that we've established I can't take that anymore, my previous problems return. IE sleeping 10-12 hours per night on amatrypteline. Why, I ask, can I not take normal sleep aids like Ambien or Lunesta? Why does it have to be something as harsh as amatrypteline? Maybe in January I'll find out. Until then I'm hoping there's no more hospital visits in the night. And the anxiety? Still there. In droves. I often wonder how many panic attacks I'd have without ativan or klonopin. Quite a few, I'll bet.

Next semester has me tied up in knots. Not to mention my one final that I'm about to fail miserably. Mom tells me Econ and Accounting in one semester is a very hard combination. So I am going to see my counselor again on the 4th of January to see what I can do about changing that around. Maybe I need to pick another vocation. Something that I can conceivably handle. My stomach is in knots now. Thanks so much Mother for the several panic attacks inspired by your statement. I'm up for suggestions as to what to major in. I am sincerely at a loss.

I need another klonopin. This all is driving me bughouse insane. I don't want to take XHTML...I barely passed DHTML! Christ help me figure this out. Seriously, I'm in trouble here and I don't know what to do.

Google took over this site and all the sudden it takes me 20 freaking windows to get to this window to update. So I haven't been updating. Because I can't remember the 20 damn passwords it takes to get to this one window.

Other than the above school is going great so far and the gaming scene has improved in droves since I went alliance. The RP has been spectacular most nights and my characters are finding a niche or ten. I'm a rather severe player so...yeah...it's kind of hard to fit in with the major ones. School I'm getting average scores as long as I temper school with everything else. It's a nice little juggling act that I honestly don't mind doing. I even plan ahead to get things done almost a week ahead of time. Never done that before. Age makes you responsible, I guess.

Life in the neighborhood is good so far. Dottie is still the watcher and Bonnie is still the nice lady who likes to talk. Sometimes I really need to drop the games and school windows to take time out and just chat with someone. I don't want to be a buzzkill on the world of warcraft, but shit, sometimes you gotta take a breather. Ole Volm won't know I'm gone. Either that or he'll destroy something while I'm outside chatting. Which is just as good as me being there.

Lately I've gotten involved in a lot of 'victim' RP. Which forces others to do all the critical thinking. You know, I think I've finally outgrown the control complex I had with RP. It's actually fun to let someone else do all the dirty work. Though I can't let it happen ALL the time. It's kind of a relief to know I'm not responsible for my actions. I wonder what psychologist would make of it? Maybe I'll ask one.

Until next time, hopefully without all the damn passwords.

It's the first day of the first week of school. I have no books, so there's really nothing for me to do right now, but I can claim confusion to the syllabus for English. Supposedly I'm to do a free-writing without any clue as to how long it's to be or what subject matter it should be if any or if there's a due date. I'm sure this is because nobody has books (and I mean nobody), but the teacher really should specify a bit better SOMEWHERE. Hell, it's due next week. The Psych course is a bit different. The teach has everything in a nice timeline with all the papers and quizzes due in a chronological line. Very nice. Nothing due this week, naturally. Again, no books. Tomorrow I have to go to the school for Algebra (YUCK). I have taken this class at least four times, you'd think I'd have mastered it by now. Bleh. Here we go again.

Anyone else running a blog should get out of the business of making money at it. If everyone follows Philadelphia's example you'll end up paying a fee for just having a blog. I'd close it down and tell them to fuck off, honestly. I'm not paying $300 for the privilege of showing nobody in particular the things that are on my mind. I don't do any real reporting anymore and my opinions are muted by the current administration being obviously shitty. Why beat a dead horse, right? Anyway, if you're in Philly you might wanna close down your blogs.

For no reason I've stopped updating the old blog. Maybe for newer things. I've opened another blog to comment about the upcoming Final Fantasy XIV coming out in September. I plan to blog under a few different names if necessary, but it kind of depends on what name I snag at the time. Another 'thing' is a graphic novel that a friend of mine has been wanting me to draw for him. All I need is a plot and some active storyline and I think I'll be okay. I do have Manga Studio for the PC sittin here doing nothing. I should actually try making my own. The novels I want to write can't get on paper for some reason. Maybe someone else's idea will.

The world is going to hell. There you go. Politically it's obvious that Obama is sending the US into an Alinsky tailspin. There's motive and motivation along with a Democrat majority. Why things aren't going faster in that direction is bothering me a wee bit. Of course, Michelle Antoinette is busy eating cake in Spain this week. It galls me that she worries so much about childhood obesity without ever having to deal with the problem. Being rich is such a bitch, huh?

Just had me some potstickers. Now I think I want a blizzard from DQ. Politics be damned. I'm having more fun inside my own head lately.

I've decided to game for gaming's sake instead of picking just one game to play. I'm tired of feeling like playing xxx game only to have to download it for several hours. So from now on I'm leaving them on my hard drive for those times I just feel like playing. I'm a gamer, dammit! My hard drive isn't even close to full.

Other than that not much is happening. Yet another summer with it's summer problems. Mostly heat related. I'm thinking of doing the walking thing again (with the cane o'course...tho that's cheating) if only to get out of the house at least a few times a week. If I don't get a car by August I'm going to have to drop out of college before I've even started. This heat makes everything suck. And I have to depend on someone else all the time to get where I'm going. If it were up to Mom I'd rent a car twice a week for my one algebra class. Meh. Hope something good happens soon.