Vitriol Espresso "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all." General James Mattis

New blogger sucks.  I can't update my links anymore.  :(  So....I will probably be moving somewhere else.  It's been a good run, but this new interface just sucks something horrible.  Perhaps elsewhere I can get a better foothold on my own links.

A new school semester has begun! And all my classes are online. Strangely enough, they're also all on the same subject. Operating systems. Two books are almost identical. Hopefully this won't cause much confusion as I move along the semester.

Personally I've come to accept that my life is a lonely one and I put much more stock into my friends. I make friends more easily now. At least online. For real, I still search for ways to meet people. Kind of thinking of joining a club at the school or something. Just to get me out of the house more often. With online classes I never need to leave for anything but food. And company. Bah.

My paradigm has shifted. I don't honestly have too much to say about politics while Obama is hanging himself. Wars are too numerous to comment about. Death of all kinds prematurely is bad no matter who you are. Basically I'm thinking more about religion and the future than I am about politics anymore. I just don't see a promising candidate this early. And the various flirtations of our nation's leaders surprises no one.

I'm doing okay. So far. :)

The semester is almost over. And I didn't do too bad on my classes. Certainly better than I thought I'd do. I still have all three finals coming up, so my brain is kind of like a nice swiss cheese.

I've been playing a lot of Warcraft lately, more than I probably should. The drama is giving me headaches and my glasses are giving me optical migranes. Ugh. It's only because I tip my head back to use the bifocals more often when I play games. The chat log is so tiny in comparison to other games. Even when you amp up the font size to 18. Farming my ass off for God only knows what. As soon as I cap out Leatherworking I'm going to take a farming break and read up on my new books.

Yeah. Warcraft books. I'm hooked. Go figure.

It's spring break time again! Time for midterms and other fanciful issues. Like how popular I am in a video game. It feels good to actually be a student.

Those sentences only look good together because they're said in the same breath. I am both panicked and relaxed. I've got a couple of big tests coming up this week and next. I feel as if I've hardly made a dent in anything so far. So I may start now. Yes...now.

So after a hospital stay for a few hours I discovered that I cannot stomach Seroquel. Now that we've established I can't take that anymore, my previous problems return. IE sleeping 10-12 hours per night on amatrypteline. Why, I ask, can I not take normal sleep aids like Ambien or Lunesta? Why does it have to be something as harsh as amatrypteline? Maybe in January I'll find out. Until then I'm hoping there's no more hospital visits in the night. And the anxiety? Still there. In droves. I often wonder how many panic attacks I'd have without ativan or klonopin. Quite a few, I'll bet.

Next semester has me tied up in knots. Not to mention my one final that I'm about to fail miserably. Mom tells me Econ and Accounting in one semester is a very hard combination. So I am going to see my counselor again on the 4th of January to see what I can do about changing that around. Maybe I need to pick another vocation. Something that I can conceivably handle. My stomach is in knots now. Thanks so much Mother for the several panic attacks inspired by your statement. I'm up for suggestions as to what to major in. I am sincerely at a loss.

I need another klonopin. This all is driving me bughouse insane. I don't want to take XHTML...I barely passed DHTML! Christ help me figure this out. Seriously, I'm in trouble here and I don't know what to do.

Google took over this site and all the sudden it takes me 20 freaking windows to get to this window to update. So I haven't been updating. Because I can't remember the 20 damn passwords it takes to get to this one window.

Other than the above school is going great so far and the gaming scene has improved in droves since I went alliance. The RP has been spectacular most nights and my characters are finding a niche or ten. I'm a rather severe player so...yeah...it's kind of hard to fit in with the major ones. School I'm getting average scores as long as I temper school with everything else. It's a nice little juggling act that I honestly don't mind doing. I even plan ahead to get things done almost a week ahead of time. Never done that before. Age makes you responsible, I guess.

Life in the neighborhood is good so far. Dottie is still the watcher and Bonnie is still the nice lady who likes to talk. Sometimes I really need to drop the games and school windows to take time out and just chat with someone. I don't want to be a buzzkill on the world of warcraft, but shit, sometimes you gotta take a breather. Ole Volm won't know I'm gone. Either that or he'll destroy something while I'm outside chatting. Which is just as good as me being there.

Lately I've gotten involved in a lot of 'victim' RP. Which forces others to do all the critical thinking. You know, I think I've finally outgrown the control complex I had with RP. It's actually fun to let someone else do all the dirty work. Though I can't let it happen ALL the time. It's kind of a relief to know I'm not responsible for my actions. I wonder what psychologist would make of it? Maybe I'll ask one.

Until next time, hopefully without all the damn passwords.

It's the first day of the first week of school. I have no books, so there's really nothing for me to do right now, but I can claim confusion to the syllabus for English. Supposedly I'm to do a free-writing without any clue as to how long it's to be or what subject matter it should be if any or if there's a due date. I'm sure this is because nobody has books (and I mean nobody), but the teacher really should specify a bit better SOMEWHERE. Hell, it's due next week. The Psych course is a bit different. The teach has everything in a nice timeline with all the papers and quizzes due in a chronological line. Very nice. Nothing due this week, naturally. Again, no books. Tomorrow I have to go to the school for Algebra (YUCK). I have taken this class at least four times, you'd think I'd have mastered it by now. Bleh. Here we go again.

Anyone else running a blog should get out of the business of making money at it. If everyone follows Philadelphia's example you'll end up paying a fee for just having a blog. I'd close it down and tell them to fuck off, honestly. I'm not paying $300 for the privilege of showing nobody in particular the things that are on my mind. I don't do any real reporting anymore and my opinions are muted by the current administration being obviously shitty. Why beat a dead horse, right? Anyway, if you're in Philly you might wanna close down your blogs.